Do you constantly find yourself with very little time for taking care of yourself? Do you always put others ahead of yourself? When was the last time you took time for yourself?
If you find yourself grasping for an answer to the final question, you are not alone. Many of us do our absolute best to be self-less and generous with our time and resources. We strive to make the lives of those we love easier and smoother. We try to anticipate their needs and provide whatever we possibly can to enhance the quality of their lives. Our desire is to do everything we possibly can to provide for those we love, or for those we see are in need of help.
In doing so, we very often leave ourselves dragging behind. We tend to use all of our available resources and energy on the act of providing and helping. When we reach the end of the day there is simply not much energy, time or resources to fulfill our needs, or to even stop and recognize what those needs might be.
There is an old saying that you cannot give from an empty well. Oftentimes it take a crisis of some sort to wake us up to the necessity of self-care. Sometimes it is a health scare. Sometimes it is a loved one calling you out on your self-neglect. Whatever the trigger is for us to recognize the need to be a bit more selfish with our own care, it is still not easy to act on. We are habitual providers, having forgotten that we should be the recipient of that glorious giving as well. If we go too long neglecting our self-care needs we will not have enough resources or stamina to provide for those we love and care about.
Self-care does not have to be expensive, or resource intensive, but it has to occur. Some simple ways to start a self-care practice are to carve out some time for yourself each day. It does not have to be a lot of time. It could be 10 minutes a day to start. That time is yours to do whatever makes you feel alive and healthy. You might take that time to write in a gratitude journal. You might sit on the bathroom mat with a face-mask on. A steaming cup of tea might be your joy during that time. You see, the thing you do for yourself in that "you time" is meant to be particular to what brings you joy. Everyone will do something different with their time and that is why it is special.
That short "you time" is just a start....you can grow your self-care practice from there. Adding in a walk outside on sunny days (or in the rain if you like) or reading scripture or prayer. Simple daily routines are what will fill up your well. The consistency is the key to self-care that becomes non-negotiable and does not feel like an extravagant splurge. Yes, those are good too, but their joy is temporary. We want to stay healthy, joyful and strong enough to care for others. So please consider investing time in yourself, being compassionate with your needs and not feeling selfish, but self-cared for.
Namaste',
Michelle
Tuesday, November 28, 2017
Sunday, November 5, 2017
Slumbering Dreams
How do I heal the ache inside of me? How do I transform the black hole of
emptiness where love and dreams used to co-exist into a fully functioning and
healthy heart again? Is that hole where
my passions and dreams used to exist? Or
is it where I used to hold onto the love I received, storing it with my dreams
for darker days? So that I could tap into that reserve whenever I might feel
lonely or lost. I want so badly to
believe it is just a temporary situation and that my dreams and desires are
simply being held so tightly, protected from any current reality, that they
will emerge like carbon under pressure to shine brilliantly and show a quality
of resilience unlike any other dreams before them.
My dreams cannot be dead.
They must be just in a deep slumber, waiting to be awakened. Once awakened, they will shine brightly and
be a beacon for others in search of rekindling their own dreams. You see, dreams don’t really die; they just
go unnourished, unable to survive without care and intentional nurturing. For you must love your dreams as you do
yourself, as they were born of you, spawn of your deepest desires.
As our dreams are slowly being prodded awake from their long
hibernation, we need to ask if they still resemble our dreams of long ago, or
have they aged and matured while we ignored them and let them lay fallow? With fresh, but tired, eyes we look at these
dusty dreams to try them on once again.
Do they still fit, or have years of neglect made them saggy and
shape-less? Are they too small for us
now? Have we matured into a more
awakened state only to realize that our dreams were constricting or were
dependent upon someone else? If we are
truly to be happy we need to scour those dreams in search of any kernels of a
vision that still resonate in our hearts today.
We need to morph those dreams into ones that are pertinent to whom we
are now. We need to infuse them with the
wisdom from our many life experiences.
We need to extract out the parts that don’t align anymore and smooth out
the rough edges so that we can not only see our dreams clearly, but that we may
feel our way to them without the pain of sharp fragments left by components
ripped out. We must facilitate our
dreams compassionately.
Show them love and light so that they may benefit others.
Much Metta to All Dreamers,
Michelle
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Wednesday, November 1, 2017
Love Letter to the Newly Awakened
Dear Loving Ones,
This is for the ones walking through their days with broken
hearts, those who have found themselves carrying deep sadness, anger, malaise,
or just general disbelief and shock.
Whether that heartbreak has been caused by loss of a loved one, a
fractured relationship or from the plethora of current events plaguing our
world, it is heartbreak nonetheless and it is real. Your heart may ache with an ever-present
nagging of discomfort or even with distinct pain. Neither should be discounted as
insignificant. This heartbreak is an
opportunity for going inward and assessing what is needed to move ahead to
enable a life of peaceful moments.
Experiencing heartbreak is like being newly awakened. It tears away the shroud of safety that we
have become so adept at placing around ourselves. It awakens us to the comings and goings of
the universe around us. It enables us to
remember how important it is to love others, as well as care for ourselves. It’s as if we begin to notice others who are
feeling the same way, and are more open to connecting with them in a quest to mend
ourselves, as well as heal society around us.
As I hear news almost every day about loss of life due to violence and
hatred, it is often very tempting to allow myself to sink back into the hole of
heartache. But allowing myself to
disappear into that abyss of pain only discourages my love from being shared
with others.
If you find yourself angry, sad, frightened, disillusioned
or grieving, you are one of the newly awakened.
We all have a light to shine and my wish for all the newly
awakened is that we can feel our way past our heartbreak and use it as a way to
connect and spread peace.
Much Love and Metta,
-->
Michelle
Monday, October 23, 2017
I have missed you all....
My words.
Try as I might, I am unable to sit still long enough to let
the words pour out of my fingertips into text.
The words, and the thoughts that cause them to rise up, are coming fast
and furious...too fast for my fingers to respond. Yet when I try to slow them
enough to allow them to flow into a state of visibility, they seem illusive and
hesitant.
I wonder aloud if they are just too sensitive, or shy, to be
written, as if they perhaps don’t want to be captured and memorialized. But then I suppose that could not be the
case, since they return often and flow so easily in dialogue. The words are comfortably there in
conversations with my spouse and with my good friends. They are honest and heartfelt. They are intended for truth telling and
soul-healing for both others and myself.
Then I realize that my thoughts, and ensuing words, are
really just being selectively introverted and only coming out in the presence
of people they know and trust. They
present themselves in dialogue even with people who have caused pain. It seems that my words have no problem at all
sitting with others, but are skeptical of the safety of full disclosure to
those that they might not know. Once
written, the words lose sight of the audience, forever having lost control of
the message.
I remind them that once released in dialogue, they have been
discovered and pulled from hiding already.
Therefore I will write.
Namaste' - Michelle
Monday, May 14, 2012
Observations of a 9 Year Old...
Just when I think I am alone in my ramblings, my 9 year old daughter decides to hand me a note that she believes would be helpful during a crazy day. Once I read it, I felt it was appropriate to share here, as she seems to have captured a 9 year old's perspective on my last blog entry. With her permission, I am sharing it with you all. I hope you enjoy and are as touched by it as I am.
"Sometimes life can be hard. But sometimes it can be easy. Life is the weight of a feather, but when everyone is depending on you, life feels like a thousand elephants stomping on you at one time. But you can make life easy. Do the right thing. Make a change in who you are. It doesn't matter who you are, or where you live, time goes by. So make a change in yourself now." - L. Hartel (age 9)
I sincerely do not think that I can add much to her sentiment, except to say that this is definitely an eye-opener for those of us who might think that our inability to take that step towards change does not impact anybody other than ourselves. The world is watching...so be inspired and inspiring.
Namaste',
Michelle H.
"Sometimes life can be hard. But sometimes it can be easy. Life is the weight of a feather, but when everyone is depending on you, life feels like a thousand elephants stomping on you at one time. But you can make life easy. Do the right thing. Make a change in who you are. It doesn't matter who you are, or where you live, time goes by. So make a change in yourself now." - L. Hartel (age 9)
I sincerely do not think that I can add much to her sentiment, except to say that this is definitely an eye-opener for those of us who might think that our inability to take that step towards change does not impact anybody other than ourselves. The world is watching...so be inspired and inspiring.
Namaste',
Michelle H.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Taking that step...
It seems that everybody I have talked to recently has been on the verge of taking a step. Either a step towards something (balance, love, career, etc.) or a step away from something (illness, poor relationship, debt, etc.). In either direction, towards or away, the first step presents itself as very challenging; sometimes appearing impossible.
The thing that I find most amazing is that everyone seems to know the first step that they need to take, however we find ourselves almost paralyzed at the thought of stepping. I believe that is because our inherent nature is to be cautious when entering "the unknown". Will this relationship be right for me? What if my partner turns out to be someone I don't recognize as the person I am falling in love with? What if I don't turn out to be who I thought I was? What will happen when I pick up the phone and call an attorney who is trying to collect a debt? Will I agree to a payment plan I cannot afford out of guilt and fear?
These questions are ones that we all ask ourselves (or ones like it depending on the situation), either conciously or subconciously. It is always more comfortable to stay with the known entity of what we are attempting to change. "Debt is scary and threatening, but it is MY debt and at least I know it." "I love this person and I know they love me too, even though we fight all the time." "Am I going to be OK?"
This comfort in the "known" manifests itself in fear of movement. Not necessarily physical movement, although that happens too; but fear of energetic movement. Once you take that first step, you engage the energies of the universe in a delicate dance of accepting the opportunities that it offers to you. Once you engage in the prospect of something new, such as going to a gym or saying no to the 40th request to volunteer that crosses your desk, you are setting the stage for yourself to keep moving in a direction. You open the door for more opportunities that align with where you are headed.
The trick is to keep your eyes open to those opportunities and realize that sometimes they show themselves in very sleek disguises. When the steps forward seem too hard, there is usually a great opportunity lurking beneath the fear. Don't pass them up. Be solid and remember, we all get stuck somewhere along the way. The best news of all is that we are not alone on our journey. As you are busy looking back at the things you are afraid to let go of, turn your head around and see that there is someone there, just a step or two ahead of you, who is on the same journey. Reach out to them and partner with them on your quest. There are amazingly gifted souls who are hovering in your life, unbeknown to you, that are willing to help. All you have to do is ask. You never know...they might need to help someone in order to fulfill their own quest's desires.
So be brave. Reach out for, and accept, help. Most of all enjoy the journey. It is the most enlightening part of the process.
Namaste'
Michelle H.
The thing that I find most amazing is that everyone seems to know the first step that they need to take, however we find ourselves almost paralyzed at the thought of stepping. I believe that is because our inherent nature is to be cautious when entering "the unknown". Will this relationship be right for me? What if my partner turns out to be someone I don't recognize as the person I am falling in love with? What if I don't turn out to be who I thought I was? What will happen when I pick up the phone and call an attorney who is trying to collect a debt? Will I agree to a payment plan I cannot afford out of guilt and fear?
These questions are ones that we all ask ourselves (or ones like it depending on the situation), either conciously or subconciously. It is always more comfortable to stay with the known entity of what we are attempting to change. "Debt is scary and threatening, but it is MY debt and at least I know it." "I love this person and I know they love me too, even though we fight all the time." "Am I going to be OK?"
This comfort in the "known" manifests itself in fear of movement. Not necessarily physical movement, although that happens too; but fear of energetic movement. Once you take that first step, you engage the energies of the universe in a delicate dance of accepting the opportunities that it offers to you. Once you engage in the prospect of something new, such as going to a gym or saying no to the 40th request to volunteer that crosses your desk, you are setting the stage for yourself to keep moving in a direction. You open the door for more opportunities that align with where you are headed.
The trick is to keep your eyes open to those opportunities and realize that sometimes they show themselves in very sleek disguises. When the steps forward seem too hard, there is usually a great opportunity lurking beneath the fear. Don't pass them up. Be solid and remember, we all get stuck somewhere along the way. The best news of all is that we are not alone on our journey. As you are busy looking back at the things you are afraid to let go of, turn your head around and see that there is someone there, just a step or two ahead of you, who is on the same journey. Reach out to them and partner with them on your quest. There are amazingly gifted souls who are hovering in your life, unbeknown to you, that are willing to help. All you have to do is ask. You never know...they might need to help someone in order to fulfill their own quest's desires.
So be brave. Reach out for, and accept, help. Most of all enjoy the journey. It is the most enlightening part of the process.
Namaste'
Michelle H.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
There are no accidents....
Each day I marvel at the people that I am in contact with and the situations that might have brought us together. Each interaction is like an introduction to a new friend. Even so-called "old" friends are met with a fresh perspective at each interaction. As we progress through our lives, our days, and our moments, we are all growing and changing. Even if that change is subtle, we are changing.
Each moment brings with it a new awareness of our own ability to make decisions and take actions. Those decisions are based upon cumulative experiences and intuition. So, if every moment allows us to grow, then the next time we see a good friend, we are a slightly different person. Perhaps a bit more refined in our thinking. Perhaps a bit more cynical. Either way, to an observant friend, we are someone slightly new to meet.
Likewise, we gain a new insight with each interaction we have. That insight might be a lesson that we keep getting presented with, or it might simply be an example of a purely joyful moment. Either way, I believe that there are no accidental encounters or relationships. Even relationships that end poorly (i.e. divorce or broken friendships) are part of our lives for a reason. These types of relationships help us to better trust and love ourselves at some point. Once we go through the suffering phase of the relationship and enter into the healing phase, we are apt to recognize our own strengths and abilities. We can then take those lessons and apply them to current, and future, relationships to avoid a recurrence of the poorly experienced one.
It goes without saying that our joyful relationships provide us with much learning as well. These types of encounters are ones we seek to replicate with others.
Our challenge, as maturing individuals, is to remain open to the possibility that each interaction we have during the day has a purpose for us; that is contains a "teachable" moment that is critical to our growth at that moment. It is by holding this challenge in your heart that you will be able to endure less-than-pleasant people and carry the joy from the better interactions. There are no accidents. We are meant to learn from each experience, and be there for others to learn from. So be alert, grateful and enjoy the journey.
Namaste',
Michelle H.
Each moment brings with it a new awareness of our own ability to make decisions and take actions. Those decisions are based upon cumulative experiences and intuition. So, if every moment allows us to grow, then the next time we see a good friend, we are a slightly different person. Perhaps a bit more refined in our thinking. Perhaps a bit more cynical. Either way, to an observant friend, we are someone slightly new to meet.
Likewise, we gain a new insight with each interaction we have. That insight might be a lesson that we keep getting presented with, or it might simply be an example of a purely joyful moment. Either way, I believe that there are no accidental encounters or relationships. Even relationships that end poorly (i.e. divorce or broken friendships) are part of our lives for a reason. These types of relationships help us to better trust and love ourselves at some point. Once we go through the suffering phase of the relationship and enter into the healing phase, we are apt to recognize our own strengths and abilities. We can then take those lessons and apply them to current, and future, relationships to avoid a recurrence of the poorly experienced one.
It goes without saying that our joyful relationships provide us with much learning as well. These types of encounters are ones we seek to replicate with others.
Our challenge, as maturing individuals, is to remain open to the possibility that each interaction we have during the day has a purpose for us; that is contains a "teachable" moment that is critical to our growth at that moment. It is by holding this challenge in your heart that you will be able to endure less-than-pleasant people and carry the joy from the better interactions. There are no accidents. We are meant to learn from each experience, and be there for others to learn from. So be alert, grateful and enjoy the journey.
Namaste',
Michelle H.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Too much chasing...
The other day I was in the garden and I saw a very cute little toad. You know the kind that shows up in front of you when you are about to take a step, and stares at you. Well, I thought it would be fun to pick up the toad and stare back at him a bit. After much chasing and direction changing, I finally caught him. I scooped him up gently in my hands and stared at him. His response to that was to promptly pee all over my hand! Obviously not what I had hoped would happen once I had achieved my goal of catching him. (Having done this many times in the past as a child, I should have remembered that this would be the eventual outcome.)
This caused me to think about how often in life we chase things. Dreams of careers, relationships, and other things that we think are going to make us happy, or turn out a certain way. It is the "if only" syndrome. If only I could meet that guy, life will be better. If only I could get a promotion, life will be better. This "if only" game goes on for quite some time, until we realize that the end result is not always as we had envisioned it. The promotion comes with more work and time away from the family. The great guy might come with huge emotional baggage.
The other issue with all this chasing of "if only" dreams, is that while we are so busy chasing, we look past the blessings that are right here in our lives; those that are already present for us. When we slow down and stop chasing for a while, we are able to see more clearly the path that we are already on. We are more able to accept the facts of our lives at this very moment, knowing that they will change as things move along. They are going to do that on their own and we do not have to chase them in order to accomplish movement.
Not all chasing results in negative consequences, but by chasing, we miss the benefits of truly experiencing the journey along the way. Keeping your eye on the prize is okay, but we need to not have tunnel vision in order to truly appreciate the value of the end goal once reached. So instead of chasing a dream, take a journey to it and recognize each step of the way as the blessing that it is. Happy travelling.
Namaste',
Michelle H.
This caused me to think about how often in life we chase things. Dreams of careers, relationships, and other things that we think are going to make us happy, or turn out a certain way. It is the "if only" syndrome. If only I could meet that guy, life will be better. If only I could get a promotion, life will be better. This "if only" game goes on for quite some time, until we realize that the end result is not always as we had envisioned it. The promotion comes with more work and time away from the family. The great guy might come with huge emotional baggage.
The other issue with all this chasing of "if only" dreams, is that while we are so busy chasing, we look past the blessings that are right here in our lives; those that are already present for us. When we slow down and stop chasing for a while, we are able to see more clearly the path that we are already on. We are more able to accept the facts of our lives at this very moment, knowing that they will change as things move along. They are going to do that on their own and we do not have to chase them in order to accomplish movement.
Not all chasing results in negative consequences, but by chasing, we miss the benefits of truly experiencing the journey along the way. Keeping your eye on the prize is okay, but we need to not have tunnel vision in order to truly appreciate the value of the end goal once reached. So instead of chasing a dream, take a journey to it and recognize each step of the way as the blessing that it is. Happy travelling.
Namaste',
Michelle H.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
You are worth it...
Many time I hear people ask "when will such-and-such happen for me?" "I have waited for so long." Well, I am a firm believer that whatever you need in life will make itself known as you need it, and when you are ready for it. The key is to recognize that it is there. This recognition is quite impossible if we are not true to ourselves to begin with. If we don't make decisions that are in our heart's best interest, we will cloud our vision with relationship issues, jealousy-induced wants, etc.
When we decide to free ourselves from the emotional burdens that we decide to carry around with us, we create a giant space for life to jump right into. All the things that present themselves to us, that we were too preoccupied to notice, finally have a space to come to light. My wish for you all, on this fine day, is that you have the bravery, and resolve, to make the tough decisions to shed some of your emotional burdens and make room for great blessings. These blessings might come in the form of a new relationship or friendship. They might be a better job, or better health. They might even present as newly found time to be alone to get to know yourself once again. Who better to fall deeply in love with than your inner-self? After that anything goes!
Remember that the rest of the world sees how you respect yourself, through your actions and decisions. The world will mirror that level of respect. So be thoughtful in your personal soulful care. Life is grand and it is headed your way.
Namaste',
Michelle H.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Humility. Yes, it is all it is cracked up to be.
Ever have a day that does not go as you had hoped it would? A day where you found yourself snapping at someone who just happened to be in your "emotional" way at the time, and had nothing to do with your mood, but got the brunt of it anyway? Well, that was my day today.
After stepping back from the situation and being frustrated with myself for my uncalled outburst, I realized that an apology was in order. Not any old type of apology, but a "face-to-face" (or in this case "voice-to-voice" over the phone) explanation. So with great humbleness, I reached out to the offended party and asked for some time with her. She was gracious enough to provide me an audience and I proceeded to apologize (not grovel) and explain that she had in no way been the target of my frustration today. As I spoke to this person, I felt a huge cloud lift off of me and heard the other party say that she had been in a very bad mood as well and our timing could not have been worse, or in our case more perfect. Perfect for creating a situation that would cause us both to exercise great humility in letting our guards down and just being human with each other. It was quite refreshing; after we got past the embarrassment of our prior interaction.
Humility can provide so much in the way of insight. It allows us to remain in touch with who we really are and helps us to remind others that we are flawed, and it is okay. Practicing humility is very grounding. It causes us to act from our core; our core beliefs and values. People who know me well, would not have recognized my not-so-calm actions today as "normal" for me. I truly felt blessed to be able to reconnect with my true self and reach out, with humbleness, to rectify the situation. Truly amazing what we can accomplish when we stay grounded and connected to others.
May all your relationships and interactions be approached with respect and humility.
Namaste',
Michelle H.
After stepping back from the situation and being frustrated with myself for my uncalled outburst, I realized that an apology was in order. Not any old type of apology, but a "face-to-face" (or in this case "voice-to-voice" over the phone) explanation. So with great humbleness, I reached out to the offended party and asked for some time with her. She was gracious enough to provide me an audience and I proceeded to apologize (not grovel) and explain that she had in no way been the target of my frustration today. As I spoke to this person, I felt a huge cloud lift off of me and heard the other party say that she had been in a very bad mood as well and our timing could not have been worse, or in our case more perfect. Perfect for creating a situation that would cause us both to exercise great humility in letting our guards down and just being human with each other. It was quite refreshing; after we got past the embarrassment of our prior interaction.
Humility can provide so much in the way of insight. It allows us to remain in touch with who we really are and helps us to remind others that we are flawed, and it is okay. Practicing humility is very grounding. It causes us to act from our core; our core beliefs and values. People who know me well, would not have recognized my not-so-calm actions today as "normal" for me. I truly felt blessed to be able to reconnect with my true self and reach out, with humbleness, to rectify the situation. Truly amazing what we can accomplish when we stay grounded and connected to others.
May all your relationships and interactions be approached with respect and humility.
Namaste',
Michelle H.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The Power in Words
Often times we are content to rely on commonly used terms when describing certain actions or feelings in our lives. I have always thought that all words contain a type of power; a power to set certain things in motion. These things could be emotional reactions, physical choices or deep pensive moments. The nuances contained in word choices can make all the difference in how we travel through our lives.
One particular piece of advice that I find most troubling for many situations is the use of the word "accept". We are told that to move on from a not-so-nice, or toxic, situation we should "accept" the situation as it is, and determine how to react in the most positive way. The intention is to help a person push beyond the pain, or annoyance, of the situation and to be able continue on in a sort of amicable way. I think that a more appropriate term to use in this case is "acknowledge". By accepting something as it is, you give it power. You are sending a message that the behavior is "acceptable"; that it is okay for someone to be treating you like they are. Instead, if you acknowledge the behavior, you are not sending a message that you condone it, but rather that you recognize it for what it is. Only then have you claimed the power over the situation and can determine what your reactions should be to it. I realize this is a subtle difference, but a very powerful one that has helped me over the years to not get stymied by a bad relationship, or put myself in a situation of reacting in a way that was not in my best emotional interest. This conscious choice of using "acknowledge" versus "accept" has given me the power to be in control of my feelings and actions.
The other benefit of making this choice is that minimal energy is wasted trying to fully understand, or change, another person. It helps to maintain the focus on your own actions. It is, of course, very important to think of others when reacting to situations. I am not suggesting that reactions should be determined without thought for others. I am simply stating that to change a situation for the better, it is important to "acknowledge" and not necessarily "accept"; thereby changing the power dynamic of the situation.
I encourage you to take a look at how different words make you feel as you go about your day. It may not be this particular word choice scenario that resonates with you. It might be something like peace versus harmony, or angst versus stress. Words are very powerful and a wonderful tool for reshaping your perspective at a given moment. Try on some new words and enjoy!
Namaste',
Michelle H.
One particular piece of advice that I find most troubling for many situations is the use of the word "accept". We are told that to move on from a not-so-nice, or toxic, situation we should "accept" the situation as it is, and determine how to react in the most positive way. The intention is to help a person push beyond the pain, or annoyance, of the situation and to be able continue on in a sort of amicable way. I think that a more appropriate term to use in this case is "acknowledge". By accepting something as it is, you give it power. You are sending a message that the behavior is "acceptable"; that it is okay for someone to be treating you like they are. Instead, if you acknowledge the behavior, you are not sending a message that you condone it, but rather that you recognize it for what it is. Only then have you claimed the power over the situation and can determine what your reactions should be to it. I realize this is a subtle difference, but a very powerful one that has helped me over the years to not get stymied by a bad relationship, or put myself in a situation of reacting in a way that was not in my best emotional interest. This conscious choice of using "acknowledge" versus "accept" has given me the power to be in control of my feelings and actions.
The other benefit of making this choice is that minimal energy is wasted trying to fully understand, or change, another person. It helps to maintain the focus on your own actions. It is, of course, very important to think of others when reacting to situations. I am not suggesting that reactions should be determined without thought for others. I am simply stating that to change a situation for the better, it is important to "acknowledge" and not necessarily "accept"; thereby changing the power dynamic of the situation.
I encourage you to take a look at how different words make you feel as you go about your day. It may not be this particular word choice scenario that resonates with you. It might be something like peace versus harmony, or angst versus stress. Words are very powerful and a wonderful tool for reshaping your perspective at a given moment. Try on some new words and enjoy!
Namaste',
Michelle H.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Take Time to Refresh
This is often the most ignored advice anyone ever receives; including myself. Yet we all know it to be true that if we take some time to relax and recharge ourselves, then our ability to live fully is much easier. How can it be possible to be alert enough to notice the little things and to accomplish the larger things when we are on the verge of illness, or fighting back sleepiness during the day.
I recently read an article about the value of personal retreats. It made me wonder who the folks are that are able to "check out" of their lives for a year at a time, or even longer. The authors described retreats that they had participated in, some lasting as long as six years! After these retreats they said that they felt refreshed, open and ready for re-entry into their lives.
The more I thought about these retreats, the more I started thinking that the participants had not really "checked out" of their lives, but rather had simply taken some time to experience their lives. This was done by focusing solely on the moments occurring during the simple days of their retreat. Now, if you are like me, you cannot afford to stop everything that you have going on in your life in order to take this much needed time for yourself. However, I am fairly certain that we all could find an hour or two in our busy lives for a moment of recharging. Our personal retreat could be getting a massage, taking a drive, or simply sitting quietly on a park bench.
The word "retreat" implies that we are backing off from something. I actually think that a better word to use is "refresh". Refresh describes a period of creation, renewal and viability.
What better way to truly be alive now, than to take time out to focus on the present. Beauty abounds in every moment and stopping for a brief time will recharge your energy in order to return to the more hectic events of life. If you can afford to take the time for a longer refreshment period, I would certainly advocate that as well. A longer time spent focusing on the present moment will only deepen your connection to your life. So sit back, breathe and think about the last time you actually stopped for refreshment. Now plan for your next refreshment break. It is good for your immune system, your relationships and your soul.
Be creative, enjoy and remember, no time is too short for renewal.
Namaste',
Michelle H.
I recently read an article about the value of personal retreats. It made me wonder who the folks are that are able to "check out" of their lives for a year at a time, or even longer. The authors described retreats that they had participated in, some lasting as long as six years! After these retreats they said that they felt refreshed, open and ready for re-entry into their lives.
The more I thought about these retreats, the more I started thinking that the participants had not really "checked out" of their lives, but rather had simply taken some time to experience their lives. This was done by focusing solely on the moments occurring during the simple days of their retreat. Now, if you are like me, you cannot afford to stop everything that you have going on in your life in order to take this much needed time for yourself. However, I am fairly certain that we all could find an hour or two in our busy lives for a moment of recharging. Our personal retreat could be getting a massage, taking a drive, or simply sitting quietly on a park bench.
The word "retreat" implies that we are backing off from something. I actually think that a better word to use is "refresh". Refresh describes a period of creation, renewal and viability.
What better way to truly be alive now, than to take time out to focus on the present. Beauty abounds in every moment and stopping for a brief time will recharge your energy in order to return to the more hectic events of life. If you can afford to take the time for a longer refreshment period, I would certainly advocate that as well. A longer time spent focusing on the present moment will only deepen your connection to your life. So sit back, breathe and think about the last time you actually stopped for refreshment. Now plan for your next refreshment break. It is good for your immune system, your relationships and your soul.
Be creative, enjoy and remember, no time is too short for renewal.
Namaste',
Michelle H.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Now presenting....
Do you ever sit back and think that "someday I will ...."? "That if the signs just showed up I would...."? If you are anything like me, then you certainly have. Well, I am here to tell you that the signs are all around us, all of the time. The issue is that we don't slow down enough to see them for what they are. The universe (or whatever guiding light that you choose to follow) presents invitations and signs to us all the time. Sometimes they might seem like burdens; such as the child with a concussion who has been home for 6 weeks from school already. Or sometimes they might seem like trivial breaks in a dreary day; such as getting a cupcake from the Cupcake Truck. If we were truly receptive to the signs that were being presented to us, we would see the home bound child as an opportunity to spend time with a small loved one who will grow up too quickly and then be unavailable for long conversations with a parent. We would see the man selling cupcakes for a living as a sign that you truly can have a job that you love and not have to toil somewhere just to make a dollar.
It is so important to be alert to these universal invitations, as they will light the path to a life that you have been waiting for. Sometimes we spend so much time planning and scheming how we are going to get there, that we miss the road all together. Have you ever driven somewhere new and missed your Exit completely because you were either heads down in the map, or waiting for the update from your GPS, only to find out that the Exit is under a bridge and the GPS doesn't work there? All the while, there was probably a highway sign that showed you the Exit anyway? Well, life is just like that. Keep your eyes open. Be receptive and open to the possibilities that there may be alternate ways to get where you think you want to go.
Enjoy the journey. Watch for the signs, as they are invitations to life experiences that you will not want to miss.
Namaste',
Michelle
It is so important to be alert to these universal invitations, as they will light the path to a life that you have been waiting for. Sometimes we spend so much time planning and scheming how we are going to get there, that we miss the road all together. Have you ever driven somewhere new and missed your Exit completely because you were either heads down in the map, or waiting for the update from your GPS, only to find out that the Exit is under a bridge and the GPS doesn't work there? All the while, there was probably a highway sign that showed you the Exit anyway? Well, life is just like that. Keep your eyes open. Be receptive and open to the possibilities that there may be alternate ways to get where you think you want to go.
Enjoy the journey. Watch for the signs, as they are invitations to life experiences that you will not want to miss.
Namaste',
Michelle
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Simple Blessings Abound...
It has been quite some time since I have been on my blog. Life has a funny way of jumping in the way every time I think I will have a chance to write. I figured I would take a few minutes and reconnect with those who care to read the blog and look forward to more active participation this year.
Life has been so busy that I almost had forgotten about the simple blessings that I have. The fact that I find time to have a cup of tea with my husband almost every morning on the front porch before the neighborhood awakens from its slumber is truly one of my favorite blessings. It is during that time that I can think (or not) about the randomness of thoughts that run through my head at that hour. Attempting to answer questions such as, Do all birds speak the same basic language, just in different dialects? Why is it that just as I have reached my boiling point with my daughters that they start acting lovely again? How do my perennial flowers know when to reappear in the Spring? Where did I really come from? Where does my brain store all these questions when I am not paying attention to them?
It really is amazing to me that this simple blessing, this simple act of having tea, can bring me so much happiness and energy each day. For that I am grateful and hope that you all can count at least one simple blessing that exists for you each day.
Namaste',
Michelle
Life has been so busy that I almost had forgotten about the simple blessings that I have. The fact that I find time to have a cup of tea with my husband almost every morning on the front porch before the neighborhood awakens from its slumber is truly one of my favorite blessings. It is during that time that I can think (or not) about the randomness of thoughts that run through my head at that hour. Attempting to answer questions such as, Do all birds speak the same basic language, just in different dialects? Why is it that just as I have reached my boiling point with my daughters that they start acting lovely again? How do my perennial flowers know when to reappear in the Spring? Where did I really come from? Where does my brain store all these questions when I am not paying attention to them?
It really is amazing to me that this simple blessing, this simple act of having tea, can bring me so much happiness and energy each day. For that I am grateful and hope that you all can count at least one simple blessing that exists for you each day.
Namaste',
Michelle
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Snow Magnolias
I am sitting here thinking about the passing of the two days of vacation that I just took from my job and realizing that a lot of life can be packed into two days. As always, I had great plans for these two days...and of course, did not accomplish much of anything on the list. Yet it was the best short vacation I have ever taken. Why, you might ask? Well, after thinking about it, I realize that when I let life just "happen", it does just that. All the things that really needed to get done, got done, and I was able to play games with my children, redecorate rooms with them and even read a little bit of a book.
It is such a wonderful feeling to just exist. No planning, just being. On the first day of my mini-vacation we got a foot of beautiful snow. While almost everyone was grumbling about a mid-February storm, I was noticing the snow magnolias. Snow magnolias are those wonderful little snow balls that sit on the tips of the branches of the dormant magnolia trees; the elusive little snowballs that only show up during a certain kind of snowstorm. They arrive with the heavy sticky snow and then only stay around for a brief time, as the sun quickly turns these snowbuds into puddles in the snowbanks below. I just happened to be driving around town at the precise time that the snow magnolias were in full bloom. They were beautiful! There is no way one can be lost in worry, or in their personal task lists, when these snow magnolias appear. Once you catch a glimpse of them, you just slow down. Even if only for a minute.
Of course the only way to see a snow magnolia is to be aware; really aware of what is happening around you. Imagine all the things in life you would notice if you were ever-present. Not all the things you notice might interest you, but you will experience them nonetheless. These micro-experiences are what help us engage with others we encounter. They provide fodder for conversation just when you think there is nothing to connect us. They also help us to put our larger issues into perspective, reminding us that life really is beautiful and that sometimes we are just clouded over with doubt and unable to see.
My wish for the world is that everyone gets the opportunity to see their own snow magnolias. Enjoy and just be.
Namaste',
Michelle
It is such a wonderful feeling to just exist. No planning, just being. On the first day of my mini-vacation we got a foot of beautiful snow. While almost everyone was grumbling about a mid-February storm, I was noticing the snow magnolias. Snow magnolias are those wonderful little snow balls that sit on the tips of the branches of the dormant magnolia trees; the elusive little snowballs that only show up during a certain kind of snowstorm. They arrive with the heavy sticky snow and then only stay around for a brief time, as the sun quickly turns these snowbuds into puddles in the snowbanks below. I just happened to be driving around town at the precise time that the snow magnolias were in full bloom. They were beautiful! There is no way one can be lost in worry, or in their personal task lists, when these snow magnolias appear. Once you catch a glimpse of them, you just slow down. Even if only for a minute.
Of course the only way to see a snow magnolia is to be aware; really aware of what is happening around you. Imagine all the things in life you would notice if you were ever-present. Not all the things you notice might interest you, but you will experience them nonetheless. These micro-experiences are what help us engage with others we encounter. They provide fodder for conversation just when you think there is nothing to connect us. They also help us to put our larger issues into perspective, reminding us that life really is beautiful and that sometimes we are just clouded over with doubt and unable to see.
My wish for the world is that everyone gets the opportunity to see their own snow magnolias. Enjoy and just be.
Namaste',
Michelle
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Appreciation, or not.
Today I had the pleasure of telling my 6 year old daughter to stop picking up the cat at least seven times. The final time, while watching the cat puff up, growl and hiss at her, I suggested very firmly that she needed to put the cat down NOW. After letting the cat leap from her arms, my daughter turned to me, hands on hips and said, "That cat just doesn't appreciate me!"
It was such an honest statement that I had to laugh, as I never considered that the child was trying to do something nice for the cat (maybe putting her on a comfy pillow for a nap...), but rather thought that she was just pestering her. It made me realize that we all really want to be appreciated for the things we do, for the people we are. We want to know that our efforts are not fruitless.
This need for appreciation makes me wonder if it truly is possible to be selfless. There are a multitude of teachings about the need for selfless compassion in the world. This is one of those things that is often times easier to read about than to enact. I believe that we are all capable of being compassionate, if we choose to be. I also believe that as we continue to live as compassionately as possible, at some point the idea that we are not appreciated enough creeps into our thinking. It makes some people bitter, makes them hold grudges and worse yet, makes them lose the desire to do anything nice for someone else without an unspoken expectation of getting something in return. This does nothing more than turn the perpetual wheel of disappointment.
Now I am not suggesting that you never get anything in return for doing something kind for someone/something else. You certainly get the self-satisfaction of knowing that you have made a difference in the world; even in a very small way sometimes. I think that self-satisfaction serves the purpose of re-energizing you to do more compassionate work. That should be its sole purpose. It should not be used to build up ego, or to hold over someones head as a way of saying "you owe me".
That said, I will still attempt to live my life as a Bodhisattva; one who serves others with compassion, in order to help them attain peace. It is a difficult challenge, as I also fall into the trap of feeling under-appreciated in certain circumstances. Although...I have an infinite number of lifetimes to get it right. So here's to getting it right in this lifetime (or in the next one...)!
Namaste',
Michelle
It was such an honest statement that I had to laugh, as I never considered that the child was trying to do something nice for the cat (maybe putting her on a comfy pillow for a nap...), but rather thought that she was just pestering her. It made me realize that we all really want to be appreciated for the things we do, for the people we are. We want to know that our efforts are not fruitless.
This need for appreciation makes me wonder if it truly is possible to be selfless. There are a multitude of teachings about the need for selfless compassion in the world. This is one of those things that is often times easier to read about than to enact. I believe that we are all capable of being compassionate, if we choose to be. I also believe that as we continue to live as compassionately as possible, at some point the idea that we are not appreciated enough creeps into our thinking. It makes some people bitter, makes them hold grudges and worse yet, makes them lose the desire to do anything nice for someone else without an unspoken expectation of getting something in return. This does nothing more than turn the perpetual wheel of disappointment.
Now I am not suggesting that you never get anything in return for doing something kind for someone/something else. You certainly get the self-satisfaction of knowing that you have made a difference in the world; even in a very small way sometimes. I think that self-satisfaction serves the purpose of re-energizing you to do more compassionate work. That should be its sole purpose. It should not be used to build up ego, or to hold over someones head as a way of saying "you owe me".
That said, I will still attempt to live my life as a Bodhisattva; one who serves others with compassion, in order to help them attain peace. It is a difficult challenge, as I also fall into the trap of feeling under-appreciated in certain circumstances. Although...I have an infinite number of lifetimes to get it right. So here's to getting it right in this lifetime (or in the next one...)!
Namaste',
Michelle
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Inner Voices...Do you hear them?
Well after many, many months I am back to my blog. I cannot believe how quickly three months flies by. (Even when I am stopping to breathe and live in the moment...) So many events have come and gone in these past months that I look back on them now as a blur. Some of the events were scary and not good at all. Some were extremely pleasant. I have watched as my children have grown more, my parents started aging more visibly and my own self continued to mature in ways I never imagined.
Self maturation happens whether you are looking or not. Self realization occurs when you stop, in the moment, and listen to your inner voice. No, I do not mean the little voice that tells you to buy the pair of shoes that you cannot afford, or the voice that tells you to ignore a call from the bill collector, but rather the inner voice that helps to guide you in your most personal of decisions. Only then can you really see how much you have matured and grown as an individual. The inner voice will clue you in to all the "learnings" that you have picked up and processed; just by living your life. Most of the time you don't even realize that you have learned these lessons until you allow your inner voice to be heard.
I am not suggesting that we always heed the lessons we have learned. We are, after all, still human and will make poor decisions along the way. My belief is that we are programmed to be presented with some lessons over and over again until we get them. This does not mean that we are "slow learners", but rather that we need the time to deeply process and allow these new behaviors and attitudes to become a true part of who we are.
Every time you stop and listen to your inner voice, you grow. You trust more. Your inner core is strong and is just waiting for you to engage it. So please stop and listen; and most of all, live. Live like your life depends on it. (No....I did not make that line up....I read it somewhere, but it just popped into my head...). I know too many people who don't actually live their lives; they tolerate their lives. This type of activity does nothing to enrich their own lives, or the lives of those around them. Everyone deserves to live a life of minimal worries, of strong security and of happiness. I know that is not always possible, but I do know that if people stepped away from their worries for a minute, there is beauty and grace staring right at them. They just need to recognize them. There is always hope. Even if it is only a sliver or glimmer of it. With all the news of tragedy in the world today, we are all just a heartbeat away from sorrow. Most of us feel this sorrow for people on the news that we have never even met. Let us not forget that these people were just living their lives. Just like us. And...coming out of their struggles, the world sees hope. I encourage you to see that hope in your own lives. No matter what obstacles you are trying to overcome.
My own experience is that if you open up and trust your core, the sometimes whispering inner voice, then your life will be richer for it. You will find friends in the most unusual of people; those that you might have overlooked before. You will find calmness and peace in times of challenge. Above all you will send out love to all around you, just by living your life with this level of integrity. I encourage you to try it and you will not be disappointed.
Namaste',
Michelle
Self maturation happens whether you are looking or not. Self realization occurs when you stop, in the moment, and listen to your inner voice. No, I do not mean the little voice that tells you to buy the pair of shoes that you cannot afford, or the voice that tells you to ignore a call from the bill collector, but rather the inner voice that helps to guide you in your most personal of decisions. Only then can you really see how much you have matured and grown as an individual. The inner voice will clue you in to all the "learnings" that you have picked up and processed; just by living your life. Most of the time you don't even realize that you have learned these lessons until you allow your inner voice to be heard.
I am not suggesting that we always heed the lessons we have learned. We are, after all, still human and will make poor decisions along the way. My belief is that we are programmed to be presented with some lessons over and over again until we get them. This does not mean that we are "slow learners", but rather that we need the time to deeply process and allow these new behaviors and attitudes to become a true part of who we are.
Every time you stop and listen to your inner voice, you grow. You trust more. Your inner core is strong and is just waiting for you to engage it. So please stop and listen; and most of all, live. Live like your life depends on it. (No....I did not make that line up....I read it somewhere, but it just popped into my head...). I know too many people who don't actually live their lives; they tolerate their lives. This type of activity does nothing to enrich their own lives, or the lives of those around them. Everyone deserves to live a life of minimal worries, of strong security and of happiness. I know that is not always possible, but I do know that if people stepped away from their worries for a minute, there is beauty and grace staring right at them. They just need to recognize them. There is always hope. Even if it is only a sliver or glimmer of it. With all the news of tragedy in the world today, we are all just a heartbeat away from sorrow. Most of us feel this sorrow for people on the news that we have never even met. Let us not forget that these people were just living their lives. Just like us. And...coming out of their struggles, the world sees hope. I encourage you to see that hope in your own lives. No matter what obstacles you are trying to overcome.
My own experience is that if you open up and trust your core, the sometimes whispering inner voice, then your life will be richer for it. You will find friends in the most unusual of people; those that you might have overlooked before. You will find calmness and peace in times of challenge. Above all you will send out love to all around you, just by living your life with this level of integrity. I encourage you to try it and you will not be disappointed.
Namaste',
Michelle
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