Appreciation, or not.

Today I had the pleasure of telling my 6 year old daughter to stop picking up the cat at least seven times. The final time, while watching the cat puff up, growl and hiss at her, I suggested very firmly that she needed to put the cat down NOW. After letting the cat leap from her arms, my daughter turned to me, hands on hips and said, "That cat just doesn't appreciate me!"

It was such an honest statement that I had to laugh, as I never considered that the child was trying to do something nice for the cat (maybe putting her on a comfy pillow for a nap...), but rather thought that she was just pestering her. It made me realize that we all really want to be appreciated for the things we do, for the people we are. We want to know that our efforts are not fruitless.

This need for appreciation makes me wonder if it truly is possible to be selfless. There are a multitude of teachings about the need for selfless compassion in the world. This is one of those things that is often times easier to read about than to enact. I believe that we are all capable of being compassionate, if we choose to be. I also believe that as we continue to live as compassionately as possible, at some point the idea that we are not appreciated enough creeps into our thinking. It makes some people bitter, makes them hold grudges and worse yet, makes them lose the desire to do anything nice for someone else without an unspoken expectation of getting something in return. This does nothing more than turn the perpetual wheel of disappointment.

Now I am not suggesting that you never get anything in return for doing something kind for someone/something else. You certainly get the self-satisfaction of knowing that you have made a difference in the world; even in a very small way sometimes. I think that self-satisfaction serves the purpose of re-energizing you to do more compassionate work. That should be its sole purpose. It should not be used to build up ego, or to hold over someones head as a way of saying "you owe me".

That said, I will still attempt to live my life as a Bodhisattva; one who serves others with compassion, in order to help them attain peace. It is a difficult challenge, as I also fall into the trap of feeling under-appreciated in certain circumstances. Although...I have an infinite number of lifetimes to get it right. So here's to getting it right in this lifetime (or in the next one...)!

Namaste',

Michelle